They needed an actor.
They found me.
I stunned them. I was miraculous. I could take on any identity they threw at me. Even though they knew I was acting, they found it hard to believe it wasn’t real. I was so convincing.
And I could change so rapidly.
One moment I could cower in fear, the next I could laugh at them scornfully.
So they recruited me.
I became their star pupil.
I was to act constantly, even when I wasn’t working. I must stay in practice.
The others weren’t sure what to make of me. They couldn’t tell what I was. They hardly saw me the same twice.
No one got very close to me. I’m not easy to get close to.
I’m hard to find.
I excelled at the work.
The others began to hate me. I was so much more successful than they were.
I tried acting humble and kind. They almost bought it. It certainly seemed sincere. But they had long since ceased to really trust anything I did.
So I gave that up.
I tried arrogance. Not caring what anyone said or did. Not caring about anyone.
I tried a recluse.
I took on countless masks.
My work and my life were one and the same.
Then one day I realized I had to stop.
I had to just be myself for once.
But as soon as I made the decision, I was terrified.
Because I couldn’t remember who I was.